“What do we do, Seal? How can we escape?”
“I can’t,” Seal said. “I have to summon the Lady.”
“But they will kill everyone and escape. They will hurt Mom and Dad.”
“They don’t know everything,” Seal said. “They don’t know the stories of our ancestors.”
Seal walked to the broken eye of the Crazy Horse monument, dragging the chain behind her. She had to struggle to pull it across the floor.
“They are vampires now, but they were once people. And people make mistakes.”
She leaned over and looked down. The height didn’t make her feel dizzy like usual.
“Are you thinking of jumping?” Beth said.
Seal laughed, which caught Beth off guard.
“I can slide under the door and look for help.”
“It is too late,” Seal said. “Come here, Beth. Let us talk like when we were in our room. I have a story to tell you.”
Seal’s calm demeanor confused Beth. Why wasn’t she afraid? Had she given up? She had never known Seal to give up. Seal wouldn’t even give up on her after she died.
For a year, Seal carried the buckskin doll with her everywhere. To the doctor, to grief counseling, to meals, into the snow for walks. Seal had never given up and because of this, Beth returned to life and stood by her sister now.
Seal sat down, allowing the chain to rest on the ground. She sat as close as she could to the eye. The air felt cooler, almost fresh, and not full of the mustiness that surrounded everything that existed in this broken world.
“Do you remember how Dad read us stories?”
Seal sat cross-legged and invited Beth to sit in her lap. The binding around her waist dug in uncomfortably. She ignored it.
“Yes. Every night he would come into our room after we had changed into our pajamas and he’d give us kisses on our foreheads. And he would be silly and tease us and tell us a story…
***
It was a terrible day for the Kipp sisters. They had rubbed each other the wrong way since waking up.
It started with Beth taking too long in the bathroom. Seal passed impatiently by the closed door five times. She listened as the bathroom faucet shot its water against the ceramic bowl.
“I need to use the bathroom, Beth. Stop playing in there.”
“I’m not playing,” Beth yelled through the door. “I’m washing!”
Seal pressed her thighs together with her hands.
“I really have to go. You’ve been washing for twenty minutes. Let me go and then you can play.”
“No! I’m not playing,” Beth yelled through the door.
Seal pounded on it.
Her mother’s voice called from the couch where she sewed. “Will you two stop?”
“Mom,” Seal said, “She won’t let me into the bathroom.”
No answer came.
“Mom,” Seal yelled again.
Her mom appeared down the hallway.
“You two need to learn to get along and settle your problems. I’m tired of this.”
Seal heard the back door slam as her mom left the house. She meant it when she said they would have to “settle it.”
Seal wiggled the doorknob over and over. It croaked with each turn.
“Stop that!” came a reply through the door.
“If you let me in, I’ll eat your carrots tonight.”
Beth hated carrots, and they both knew they’d be served because there were two fresh bunches at the bottom of the fridge from their garden.
“Don’t you want me to save you from the carrots?”
“Do you promise to eat them, Seal?”
Seal knew the bribe would work.
“I promise.”
“Or hope to die.”
“Or hope to die,” Seal said.
She heard the bolt slide from the inside. It rattled as Beth struggled, using her tiny fingers on the latch. The door clicked open and Beth peeked out.
“Move,” Seal yelled, and she shoved her smaller sister out of the way. She slammed the door between them and re-locked it.
As Seal sat on the toilet, she saw the sink filled up to the rim with water. Old alphabet blocks floated in it. Beth had propped Paintchip against the pink plastic backstop with two blocks stacked together to keep her from falling in.
After Seal finished, she dipped her hands into the sink. The water rose above the lip and splashed on the floor. She grabbed Paintchip and submerged her in the water, soaking the buckskin doll and causing more water to pour onto the old wooden floor. She held the doll down until it absorbed enough water to stop floating.
As she left the bathroom, Beth ran in. Her scream rang throughout the house, followed by loud crying.
Seal, busy pouring milk into a cereal bowl, ignored Beth as she ran past. Snot and tears trailed down her face. She exited the kitchen, the back door slamming behind her.
Seal watched as their mom received Beth with a hug. Beth held the doll up to show her mom what Seal had done. Seal could see her mother’s mouth move but couldn’t hear what she said. She could only hear Beth’s sobs. But she guessed her mom told Beth it will be okay, over and over.
Mom wrung out Paintchip with her hands. Water fell between her tightened fists and onto the ground. She walked back into the kitchen, shaking the stubborn remnants of water from the buckskin doll. Some of the felt decorations that had been part of her clothing were loosened and curled outward, the same way the linoleum floor raised itself in the kitchen.
“This is not acceptable behavior, Seal. Apologize to your sister, now.”
“I will not. She is a spoiled brat, and I almost peed my pants while she is playing like a baby in the bathroom.”
“I’m not a baby,” Beth shot back.
“Only babies play with alphabet blocks. You don’t even know your alphabet.”
“Yes, I…”
“Enough of this,” their mom yelled, having lost her patience with the two girls.
“Seal, finish your cereal and then go outside. I don’t want to see you all day. Beth, if that bathroom is a mess, you better clean it up now. I’ll fix your doll.”
“But Mom, I didn’t mess up the bathroom…”
Her mom held up her hand and pointed to the bathroom. There would be no further argument.
Beth began crying again.
“And you, you’ve had enough cereal. Outside. Go find some friends.”
But Seal had no friends nearby that would play with her, other than Javin. As Seal left, she kept an eye on Beth, hoping for one parting shot. She got it when Beth dared a glance, and she mocked her by rubbing at her eyes.
“Out, Cecile!” her mom yelled.
Seal let the back door slam behind her.
Sometime later, Beth came outside. Seal sat against the barn reading a book, her knees bent close to her chest, the book perched on top, close to her face.
Beth began singing the ABC song within earshot.
“A-B-Seal-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z,” she skipped around on the balls of her feet, hopping in circles like a bunny. “Now I know my ABSeals!”
Seal tried ignoring it the first few times, but then the repeating became countless. Seal had to re-read pages.
“Harriet looked at the motorcycle wondering if she could ride it on her own…” then “suddenly Harriet shopped for her favorite snack, Twinkies.”
But what had happened in between?
Seal read on.
“Harriet drew her leg over the top of…”
“A-B-Seal-D…”
“…and the engine roared, vibrating under…”
“L-M-N-O…”
“…the bike weaved in and…”
“T-U-V-W…”
“…car honked at…”
“D-E-F-G…”
“…waved back…”
“O-P-Q-R…”
“Go play elsewhere,” Seal yelled. “I can’t concentrate.”
“It’s a free country,” Beth taunted back. “Now where was I… oh yeah, Seal-D-E-F…”
Seal grabbed her book from the ground and walked towards Beth. Beth skipped around in circles, singing the song until Seal pushed her down.
Beth skinned her knee but didn’t cry. Instead, she yelled at Seal, “I hate you!”
That made Seal angry and sad all at once. Beth had never said she hated anyone before. Seal walked deeper into the sunflower fields as the alphabet song and I hate you swam around in her head. She wanted to cry but held it in. Sometimes her sister was impossible.
The two of them avoided each other until dinner.
A serving of carrots, the size of her two small closed fists, sat on Beth’s plate, uneaten and growing cold. She would not be allowed to leave the table until she ate them. Seal’s plate sat clean with no traces of food left.
Beth looked at her sister and the carrots. Seal shook her head no.
Beth mouthed, “You promised.”
Seal shook her head again.
Beth put her hands together like she was about to pray and whispered, “Please.”
“Mom and Dad, may I go study?” Seal asked.
Their dad looked over her plate and nodded. If her parents had noticed the quiet exchange between the two sisters, they did not acknowledge it.
“Finish your carrots, honey,” their dad said to Beth.
Beth, her chin already close to the plate, lowered it more and slowly shoveled one carrot at a time into her mouth and chewed it. Small teardrops formed.
That night, after the two were in their pajamas, they waited in their beds silently. Their father came upstairs and entered their room.
“You two have been quite a handful lately. You must learn to get along.”
The girls protested, but he shook his head and gave them the kind of dad look that made each of them shut their mouth. He looked at them over his glasses.
“I have a new story for you tonight. It is about Black Snake and Badger.”
He read them the story:
“One day Badger was starving. It had been an exceptionally long winter, and he could not find food. He dug into the ground, but it remained too frozen to dig deep. He tried to catch fish, but he could not break through the thick ice. His stomach grumbled.”
Their dad held his round belly in his hands and shook it while he made a rumbling sound with his lips.
“I am so hungry,” said Badger, “I could eat a little girl.”
Beth laughed at this.
“Do you know a little girl I could eat?” their dad looked at Beth.
She shook her head at him.
“How about this little girl,” Dad said, and pointed at Seal on her bed.
Beth liked the idea of Badger devouring Seal.
But her dad said, “No, she is too big. I need a smaller girl to fit in my belly. It is a big belly, but not that big.” He shook it again and made the grumbling sound.
“No, no, you can’t eat me,” Beth protested. “Badgers don’t eat little girls.”
Seal and her dad laughed.
“Yes, of course, you are right. But do you know what badgers like to eat?”
The girls rattled off different animal names they knew, until their father finally added, “…and lizards. Badgers love to eat lizards. And one day Badger found a very odd lizard. Its black skin and black eyes made it hard to see on a dark cloudy day. But Badger could see it had no legs. Maybe they were tucked in, Badger thought.”
“A snake!” Beth yelled out.
“Yes. Badger had met the Black Snake. And he was clever for a snake, and snakes are already very clever creatures. Like Badger, Black Snake was hungry after having slept all winter long. He needed to eat too, and he liked the idea of eating Badger. But Badger was too fast and too strong.
“When Badger saw Black Snake, he thought a snake would be tasty, too.
“‘I want to eat you,’ Badger said to Black Snake.
“‘But you should not eat me,’ Black Snake said. ‘I taste very sour because I only eat sour apples.’ Badger knew sour apples were indeed sour, and they were among his least favorite foods.
“‘But,’ said Black Snake, ‘I know where some delicious lizards rest.’
“Now Black Snake knew this because he would stay with the lizards all winter long. The lizards were particularly good at digging a hole, and they let Black Snake stay with them deep underground, where it did not freeze. Black Snake told Badger to follow him and led him to the hole. Black Snake was a thick snake, but he could stretch himself thin to fit in the hole. Badger was too husky and could not fit inside.”
“Like Daddy,” Beth said.
Her dad chuckled and continued.
“And the ground, still too frozen for him to dig, would not thaw for more days than Badger had patience.
“‘I still cannot get them,’ said Badger. ‘Sour or not, I will eat you instead.’
“Black Snake laughed at this and said, ‘You don’t have to suffer by eating me. I will go into the hole and bring out the lizards.’ One by one, Black Snake stretched himself out, went deep into the hole, and grabbed each lizard with his tail and pulled them out. He went back, and each time he returned with another lizard, the one before had already filled Badger’s stomach. Dozens of lizards later, Badger became full and there were no more lizards left. He fell asleep under the noon sun.”
Beth’s eyes were wide.
“Do you know what Black Snake did next?”
Beth thought about the answer when Seal called out, “The snake ate Badger.”
“No,” Beth squealed. “Badger is too big with all those lizards in his belly.”
“Oh, but snakes can open their jaws wide, and they can expand their bodies. There is a snake in a southern jungle called the anaconda, and it can swallow a jaguar whole. It could even eat a little girl, or a big girl.”
Their dad poked at them in their bellies, forcing them into laughter together.
“And Black Snake ate Badger all up, and he did not get hungry for the rest of the year. But next winter there were no lizards left, and the snake had no arms to dig a hole himself. He tried hiding in rocks, but they did not protect against the cold. He found a cave, but a bear chased him out. Bears know better than to trust snakes. Without the lizards, he had to sleep in the snow, and he froze to death.”
“Good,” exclaimed Beth. “Poor lizards.”
“Poor Badger,” Seal said.
Normally their father would ask questions about the story he just told or leave them to think on it with the lights turned out, but their terrible behavior deserved a quick correction.
“In life, you will find sometimes you can be the Badger that eats the lizards, or the Snake that eats the Badger, or the lizards that work together. And sometimes you may have to be a little like all of them to survive.
“But sisters must always be the lizards that work together. You cannot be the Snake that tricks and connives, because then you will be left alone. You cannot be the Badger because then you will become greedy and lazy, and a Snake will come along and eat you. And above all, you can never trust the Snake.
“You are sisters, and I know you love one another. I know it is not easy to share the same room every night in a small house like ours. But you will find a time when you need the other and must trust. Do you understand, Seal?”
“Yes, Daddy,” Seal answered.
“Do you understand, Beth?”
“Yes. Don’t be a Snake to Seal,” Beth said.
“Learn to take care of each other. You will always have the best friend you can close by,” he said.
He hugged them both and kissed their foreheads and left.
Their mom peeked in, carrying a fully dried Paintchip.
“Are you girls alright?”
They answered yes in unison.
She came in and kissed them as she tucked them inside their blankets, making sure Paintchip sat snugly with her littlest one.
“Good night,” she said as she closed the door and turned off the light.
“Seal,” Beth whispered.
“Yes?”
“Do you think Daddy is silly when he tells us stories?”
“Yes, I do,” Seal giggled.
She kicked off her blanket. A small night light between their beds illuminated her, and she grabbed her belly and made a funny noise.
Beth laughed out loud, and Seal hushed her so they wouldn’t get in trouble.
“I don’t want to see an aconda,” Beth said.
“You can only see an anaconda at the zoo. All the snakes around here are too small to eat you,” Seal explained.
“Well, if they have acondas at the zoo, I’m not going,” Beth teased and giggled again.
She sobered up quickly, and after a long silence said, “I love Daddy, and I love Mommy… and I love you too.”
The words hurt Seal, but they also gladdened her. It reminded her of being told she was hated earlier and how much she must have hurt Beth to make her say those words.
“I am sorry for being mean and hurting your feelings. Can I apologize to Paintchip too?”
Seal sat up, and Beth brought Paintchip over and handed the buckskin doll to her.
Seal held the doll up to her face with both hands.
“I am sorry I dunked you in water today, Paintchip. Do you forgive me?”
Both waited for her answer.
A quiet high-pitched “yes” came out of Seal’s mouth.
Seal put Paintchip closer to her ear.
“What was that? I can’t hear you.”
“Yes,” Seal said louder, without moving her mouth, in the same high pitch.
Beth burst out laughing and hugged Seal. Seal hugged her back.
“I love you, Beth.”
From outside the door, their mother’s voice called out, “You two back in bed and go to sleep.”
Seal tucked Beth in with Paintchip before getting back into her own bed.
“Beth,” Seal whispered, “Do you want to go to the family spooky ride with me in two weeks? Just us?”
“Yes!” Beth replied loudly.
“Girls!” they heard their mother’s voice from the hallway.
Both tried to go to sleep, but it took Beth a while longer because of her excitement. Two weeks was a long time to wait to have fun with her sister.
***
As she finished her memory, Seal hugged her Beth closely.
“I love you.”
“I love you, Seal,” Beth replied.
Seal wished she could feel her sister’s real arms around her.
“Beth, there is something I must do, and it is extremely hard, but I know I have to. I know because of Dad’s stories. I know how to save us.”
“What do you have to do?” Beth asked.
“It is not an accident that you and I are here. I know what I must do, but it hurts me to think about. I thought I could save you and bring you home, but I know I can’t. But I can free you.”
“How?” Beth asked, sounding a little more fearful.
“The Lady of Light told me in my dream. I must let my sadness of you go. I didn’t know what that meant, but now I do. I don’t want to. But I have to. I mourned a long time and there isn’t enough time that I’ll ever finish missing you. But you do not belong in a doll’s body. Can I set you free? Do you trust me?”
“Will it help Mom and Dad?” Beth asked.
Seal nodded.
“Will it help you?”
“It will help everyone,” Seal said. “Even Javin.”
Seal had faith Javin still lived. He was clever.
“Javin is a silly boy,” Beth said.
“Javin is a silly boy,” Seal concurred. “Can you hug me again?”
Seal hugged her sister for a long time.
“I’m ready,” Beth finally said.
Seal laid the buckskin doll down and lifted her clothing. There were rough, black stitches across the doll’s chest with a knot tied at the end. Seal used her nails to pull the stitches apart slowly.
“Does this tickle?” she asked.
“Don’t be silly,” Beth said. “I can’t feel anything.”
Seal continued to work on the stitches until the cloth underneath parted. She spread the edges with her fingers and pushed the cotton batting aside. At the doll’s core were threaded strands of sweetgrass and a small white envelope filled with tobacco leaves. Seal put it up to her nose and smelled. Still fragrant. She tucked the envelope in her dress pocket. She dug deeper and found a lock of her sister’s hair. It felt light between her fingers.
“There is something you should know. Your real name is Behitha. It means ‘the beginning.’ You were magical from the beginning, and I am glad we got to spend this extra time together, Behitha.”
Beth’s voice seemed muted. It slowly faded away, but Seal heard her say, “I always knew I had a beautiful name like you.”
“I like it too.”
Seal held the hair up to her lips and kissed it gently.
“I release you. I want you to fly high above all this. Do not come back. Keep going and you will find the place where you belong. Do you understand? Do not come back to me.”
In barely a whisper: “I understand, Seal.”
Seal let the hair go, and instead of falling, it floated in the air above her. Each hair follicle caught on fire and burned from both ends, but instead of leaving behind ash, they became a single bright wisp. It floated playfully above Seal, did a single loop, and booped her on the nose. It felt like a tiny tickle.
She heard her sister say one final time, “I love you.”
“I love you,” Seal replied.
Her sister floated upwards and out of sight. Seal was alone, with nothing left to do but wait. She sobbed after saying goodbye to her sister.
She imagined her dad’s voice in her head: You did so good. You were so brave.
Seal knew it wouldn’t be the last brave thing she had to do. Not just today. Life required brave actions all the time.